Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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