I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize