I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
