I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
