yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize