I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
