nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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