He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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