so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
