I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
