My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Im part way to drunk.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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