He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
