Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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