I haven't been this sober since birth.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
