Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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