They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
