seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
