Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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