He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
