You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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