on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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