i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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