I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
