That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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