just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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