How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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