at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
