Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
