we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
