The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
