so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
