Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
