how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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