he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I understand Curling. That high.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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