Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
