I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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