Jerry, you need to find god
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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