operation have a gay friend backfired
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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