I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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