I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
bring money and cleavage
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
