the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
