I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
