That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
