i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
