the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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