He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
