I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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