I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
