i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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