My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
