i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
