So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
