Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
