I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
