road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
