I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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