Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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