Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
