Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
