sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
