last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
