On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
