i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
